Reflection of you.

It’s been a while since I jotted down my thoughts, and a lot has happened in the meantime. One thing that hasn’t changed is my observational style of writing and looking for guidance from my everyday occurrences. Inspiration for the article is from two songs. Onne rollercoaster by Ronan Keating, and two, which does surprise me a little as I am not a fan of his, is my way by Frank Sinatra.

The song rollercoaster gives the lyrics: “Life is a rollercoaster you just gotta ride it”. Well, my friend’s recent events in my life have proven these lyrics to be very accurate. I have really ridden the emotional rollercoaster over the last few months. Spectacular highs and a few unfortunate moments that we all face at some point. Let’s remember this, positive first, then the not so great moments. The highs have been incredible. I can now proudly say I am a published author. I finished my book titled “Graceful thoughts” I had a fantastic show at the recent well-being market in Newark. I made new friends and experienced spiritual connections on a level I previously hadn’t. The togetherness was brought about with people who had a like-minded approach to other people’s well being. Despite the restriction, it was a success and a magical experience that won’t be easily forgotten. 

Life can be a great leveller as it tends to move very quickly between highs and lows as we wend our way along life’s pathways. I had the crushing loss of my father in law to contend with. He passed away peacefully after a long illness. Even in those dark moments, though, I took solace in the happier times we had spent together and feel eternally grateful for all that he has taught me about life. I also took a few bumps in feedback from people about my work. 

Life makes me chuckle at times. I’ll comment why: tarot reading, mediumship is not an exact science. It is the perception that makes a reading either good or bad. To all the learners out there, don’t beat yourself up about the odd negative comment. Life is fantastic in its contrasts and these difficult times inspire me to write. Notice what I did there I turned potential negativity into a positive outcome.

An essential aspect for me when writing anything uplifting or potentially inspiring is that people come out of a dark place. Therefore one has to be honest and frank. Life can sometimes be tricky as we have to face the harsh realities of it daily. However, the important thing is the way we respond: do we face it or do we run and hide. Do we label ourselves depressed or in a low mood, or could it simply be that we are in a disillusioned state of mind? I asked my spiritual team for further guidance and was given the word malaise. Not being familiar with this word, I turned to the dictionary “A general feeling of discomfort, illness, restlessness or unease whose exact cause is difficult to identify”. Now I really had something to get my head around, in a low mood without any objective evidence of why.

The therapist in me likes to devise strategies, and one that I have developed for thoughts is to give them form. I can then place them in the palm of my hand and see what they are composed of, and if there is a problem, I can deconstruct it.

Your biggest ally is the person who looks back at you in the mirror, and they should always be the first port of call for information regarding you. They have experienced the highs and lows that you have. Ask a question of them and expect to get an honest answer. I slow my breathing down and clear my mind. A picture starts to form. I imagine myself talking to a client. Understanding the reference straight away. And, healing begins from this moment of clarity.

When I work with clients who have experienced feelings of low self-esteem or low self-confidence. Or possibly a lack of self-awareness or even just feelings of inadequacy, I ask them to take my quiz. Nobody to date has said no. Even though there might be initial reluctance, I assure them they will all pass it because I will make sure it happens. Hundreds of people have now taken my quiz and realise what an excellent therapeutic tool it is. The examination consists of three questions, are you ready to take it yourself? Well, here goes.

Question one: I want you to think very broadly, out into the universe and the world at large. Is there anybody that is exactly like you? The answer is no: we are individual. Therefore, the conclusion reached is that we are all unique. Question one is correctly answered.

Question two: Would you agree or disagree that we have skills and talents that get us through any given day?

The answer is simply: Yes!

Despite some initial protests, the only acceptable answer is yes, as you have so many skills used every day that are not even considered. They just happen! 

Let’s recap, somebody who has initially presented as, let’s say, lacking confidence has admitted to a stranger that they are (A) unique and (B) talented and skilled. Both answers are evidence-based and using the client’s own words. Well done, that is question two successfully answered.

Question three will tie it all together. Trust me when I say we are heading to an epiphany moment. Consider this for a while. I have nothing to compare myself to. I am a one-off. I can’t put a value on myself because there isn’t anything like me for comparison. Logically the conclusion that must be drawn that I, as a person, am priceless. The answer is correct and well done. You have passed the test with flying colours. All solutions are based on evidence using the client’s words and thoughts.

The epiphany moment is now upon us: put all three answers together. I am the client. In this case, my solutions are unique, talented and priceless. If a client has answered, there may be some confusion still, so I add a little dialogue and showbiz. “I reach down into my bag of imaginary props and pull out a collapsible mirror and then say repeat your answers to that reflection of you in the mirror. I have to say the effect on the client is usually brilliant to observe as the penny drops, you are talking to yourself. You are as good or as confident as YOU allow yourself to be. Tell yourself things that don’t reflect the true you, and you will embody that negative mindset. I now realise answers are staring us in the face: at all times!

The reality is life is complex, and we will make mistakes because we are human. Personally, I take responsibility for all of my parts and embrace them all, even the flaws. In my own unique way, I have the skills and the talents to find solutions to problems, and because of this, I am priceless. Believe me when I say the irony is not lost on me. My conclusion is the average person will easily find fault with themselves. The more considerable skill is selling yourself to the person in the mirror that you are a good person. You can make a difference in your life because you have the skillset. When we can do this, we have reached a destination of acceptance. We can learn from this acceptance: nobody is perfect, face any insecurities head-on and be honest about it, no excuses. Be proud to be you. You are all amazing.

 I will leave the last words to Frank Sinatra’s words from his song ‘My Way”

                           “If not himself, then he has nought

                             To say the things he truly feels 

                           And not the words of one who kneels

                          The record shows, I took the blows

                                And did it my way”.

Keep shining: much love:
The waistcoat man.

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