Perfection

Just a few thoughts this morning perfection is often sought by the many and achieved by the few. I am a mechanical thought stripper as I like to get thoughts down to their rawest form. Why do I seek perfection and then when it doesn’t materialise every time I feel disappointed.

Let’s examine why perfection or the high standard that I want to achieve is a perception of my own reality. I want everything to be 100% but the evidence has been consistently over the years that is impossible for me personally to achieve a consistency of 100 % .I can put 100% effort in but not achieve full marks in some task. What is a good result for one may not be a good result for another.

Look at your own individual thought patterns, is good enough truly good enough or are you on that on unrealistic path of seeking perfection. To your own self be true, look at your ways of approaching things consistency of application will bring in a set of results, if the results aren’t what you want look at the method of application and adjust them to suit your level of expectation. You are after all looking for a better feeling from your efforts so pick your ingredients for this process carefully.

What has inspired these thoughts is a recent assignment where I got 97% in something, that is 3% off perfection so I felt the need to check why I hadn’t achieved it. Careful analysis showed that 1 mark had been dropped as an oversight and I hadn’t fully understood the question the other couple of marks dropped were not quite finding the information I wanted to articulate my thoughts. Did it affect my overall pride in achieving a distinction in this unit, did it heck.

You see one of my flaws has always been I struggle with compliments and have readily accepted criticism. This is ok when you are getting the results from your thoughts that suit your inner narrative. However when your thoughts and actions don’t achieve the the results you desire the need for change becomes apparent.

What I have learnt over the years is the way you manage your mind is down to you and you alone. You will always react to the stimulus that is going on around you and that will form the basis of your thoughts. Tell yourself something, act on it and it becomes real. Ask yourself what are you telling yourself that you can or cannot do because it becomes true and you then write a programme to make it real.

My thought process used to be if I accept compliments it is a long way to fall when I inevitably don’t achieve perfection 100 % of the time. An insult or a perceived failure was used in a different way because if I got something wrong I could learn from it and apply it next time, I could only rise up from a loss. These days I have a slightly different perception let insults and compliments occupy the same amount of time in your head brief. Move on regardless and live in the now moment as life is ever changing. Don’t seek something that evidence shows that you are unlikely to achieve don’t use your precious life’s hours focussing on things you did wrong or that you lack. Equally don’t seek validation or permission from others to live your own true life. Own everything about yourself take personal responsibility for everything that you do. Your life you own it.

In my eclectic mind there are boxes containing nuggets of information that are waiting for a way of them being brought to a light. Every now and again my mind will wander off task and I will revert to an old way of doing something I will then achieve an old result. What I want to assure that it is ok to have off days, just remember to check in with yourself regularly, what once seemed like fun has it become a chore, are you still on target and fully focussed on your goals and aspirations or have you gone off wandering. My final thoughts for today are, perfection can be achieved in your own world if you accept that it doesn’t always have to have that magical figure of 100. 97/100 is perfect for me because it was realistically achievable because I did it.

What is your perfect score?

Found this little prayer and it resonated with me:Make me wise so that I may understand the things I have been taught. I seek strength not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy- myself. Have a peaceful day.

Reflection of you.

It’s been a while since I jotted down my thoughts, and a lot has happened in the meantime. One thing that hasn’t changed is my observational style of writing and looking for guidance from my everyday occurrences. Inspiration for the article is from two songs. Onne rollercoaster by Ronan Keating, and two, which does surprise me a little as I am not a fan of his, is my way by Frank Sinatra.

The song rollercoaster gives the lyrics: “Life is a rollercoaster you just gotta ride it”. Well, my friend’s recent events in my life have proven these lyrics to be very accurate. I have really ridden the emotional rollercoaster over the last few months. Spectacular highs and a few unfortunate moments that we all face at some point. Let’s remember this, positive first, then the not so great moments. The highs have been incredible. I can now proudly say I am a published author. I finished my book titled “Graceful thoughts” I had a fantastic show at the recent well-being market in Newark. I made new friends and experienced spiritual connections on a level I previously hadn’t. The togetherness was brought about with people who had a like-minded approach to other people’s well being. Despite the restriction, it was a success and a magical experience that won’t be easily forgotten. 

Life can be a great leveller as it tends to move very quickly between highs and lows as we wend our way along life’s pathways. I had the crushing loss of my father in law to contend with. He passed away peacefully after a long illness. Even in those dark moments, though, I took solace in the happier times we had spent together and feel eternally grateful for all that he has taught me about life. I also took a few bumps in feedback from people about my work. 

Life makes me chuckle at times. I’ll comment why: tarot reading, mediumship is not an exact science. It is the perception that makes a reading either good or bad. To all the learners out there, don’t beat yourself up about the odd negative comment. Life is fantastic in its contrasts and these difficult times inspire me to write. Notice what I did there I turned potential negativity into a positive outcome.

An essential aspect for me when writing anything uplifting or potentially inspiring is that people come out of a dark place. Therefore one has to be honest and frank. Life can sometimes be tricky as we have to face the harsh realities of it daily. However, the important thing is the way we respond: do we face it or do we run and hide. Do we label ourselves depressed or in a low mood, or could it simply be that we are in a disillusioned state of mind? I asked my spiritual team for further guidance and was given the word malaise. Not being familiar with this word, I turned to the dictionary “A general feeling of discomfort, illness, restlessness or unease whose exact cause is difficult to identify”. Now I really had something to get my head around, in a low mood without any objective evidence of why.

The therapist in me likes to devise strategies, and one that I have developed for thoughts is to give them form. I can then place them in the palm of my hand and see what they are composed of, and if there is a problem, I can deconstruct it.

Your biggest ally is the person who looks back at you in the mirror, and they should always be the first port of call for information regarding you. They have experienced the highs and lows that you have. Ask a question of them and expect to get an honest answer. I slow my breathing down and clear my mind. A picture starts to form. I imagine myself talking to a client. Understanding the reference straight away. And, healing begins from this moment of clarity.

When I work with clients who have experienced feelings of low self-esteem or low self-confidence. Or possibly a lack of self-awareness or even just feelings of inadequacy, I ask them to take my quiz. Nobody to date has said no. Even though there might be initial reluctance, I assure them they will all pass it because I will make sure it happens. Hundreds of people have now taken my quiz and realise what an excellent therapeutic tool it is. The examination consists of three questions, are you ready to take it yourself? Well, here goes.

Question one: I want you to think very broadly, out into the universe and the world at large. Is there anybody that is exactly like you? The answer is no: we are individual. Therefore, the conclusion reached is that we are all unique. Question one is correctly answered.

Question two: Would you agree or disagree that we have skills and talents that get us through any given day?

The answer is simply: Yes!

Despite some initial protests, the only acceptable answer is yes, as you have so many skills used every day that are not even considered. They just happen! 

Let’s recap, somebody who has initially presented as, let’s say, lacking confidence has admitted to a stranger that they are (A) unique and (B) talented and skilled. Both answers are evidence-based and using the client’s own words. Well done, that is question two successfully answered.

Question three will tie it all together. Trust me when I say we are heading to an epiphany moment. Consider this for a while. I have nothing to compare myself to. I am a one-off. I can’t put a value on myself because there isn’t anything like me for comparison. Logically the conclusion that must be drawn that I, as a person, am priceless. The answer is correct and well done. You have passed the test with flying colours. All solutions are based on evidence using the client’s words and thoughts.

The epiphany moment is now upon us: put all three answers together. I am the client. In this case, my solutions are unique, talented and priceless. If a client has answered, there may be some confusion still, so I add a little dialogue and showbiz. “I reach down into my bag of imaginary props and pull out a collapsible mirror and then say repeat your answers to that reflection of you in the mirror. I have to say the effect on the client is usually brilliant to observe as the penny drops, you are talking to yourself. You are as good or as confident as YOU allow yourself to be. Tell yourself things that don’t reflect the true you, and you will embody that negative mindset. I now realise answers are staring us in the face: at all times!

The reality is life is complex, and we will make mistakes because we are human. Personally, I take responsibility for all of my parts and embrace them all, even the flaws. In my own unique way, I have the skills and the talents to find solutions to problems, and because of this, I am priceless. Believe me when I say the irony is not lost on me. My conclusion is the average person will easily find fault with themselves. The more considerable skill is selling yourself to the person in the mirror that you are a good person. You can make a difference in your life because you have the skillset. When we can do this, we have reached a destination of acceptance. We can learn from this acceptance: nobody is perfect, face any insecurities head-on and be honest about it, no excuses. Be proud to be you. You are all amazing.

 I will leave the last words to Frank Sinatra’s words from his song ‘My Way”

                           “If not himself, then he has nought

                             To say the things he truly feels 

                           And not the words of one who kneels

                          The record shows, I took the blows

                                And did it my way”.

Keep shining: much love:
The waistcoat man.

Love Yourself First.

I wrote a post this morning on facebook it simply said on valentines day send a wish to the person who is with you constantly and if you are not sure who that is look in the mirror. One of the comments received said that they had confidence problems and that they thought they were rubbish at everything they did. Probably without realising it by airing a problem they had opened themselves up to a solution.

The mind is a very complex thing and needs both structure and guidance as well as an element of freedom to allow oneself the chance to create and use that wonderful imagination that we have been gifted with. The conscious mind deals with the structure and follows instructions, the unconscious mind deals with the imagination and creativity side of things. The problem with the unconscious mind is that it doesn’t concern itself with fact or fiction it is the diva that thrives on the attention. The problem that occurs is that the unconscious mind is where we store the instruction manual for our existence, policy and procedures are laid out for us to follow if we so wish. The unconscious mind doesn’t question it just believes what it is told so quite simply put it believes anything that it is told.

You are made of up of the conscious and unconscious mind and if you tell yourself you are not confident you won’t be, if you tell yourself you aren’t good enough etc that is what you become not good enough. The procedure is then laid down if not challenged and the mind just follows that instruction.

How do you change that, well by realising that you can change the thought and rewire the brain. Change the way you speak to yourself, relay different instructions to the unconscious mind. Tell yourself you expect better, seek out people who can help you, talk to people of a like mind and notice how your energy feels around people who think like you and want to help lift your spirits.

How does that feel to have that support and upliftment around you pretty good I would assume. Now if I told you that upliftment and a better feeling can be around you all the time many might argue but what if I am right ? What if you started to tell yourself a different story, that you are confident, you are good enough. What if you started to believe a different version of a long recited story. You can change the ending yes you, you have that power within. Don’t believe me then just look in the mirror and tell the person looking back, do you know what thank you, you have always been there. I know you always have my back. I don’t always have all the answers but I want to bring in that change. Self respect self confidence and self love comes from within. Be that change you want to make in your life.

Go on do something new, yes you are worth it , look in that mirror and say to your life’s partner reflection I love you. I always think like the old saying goes “the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Good luck on your journey and happy valentines day.